Always remember the Hatter
by Cerone
Summary: After four years in China Alice returns to London in order to visit her mother and sister. But her mother has other plans like finding a husband for Alice, no matter what the costs... Alice x Hatter
1. Prologue

Alice and Wonderland belong to Lewis Carroll. All characters and locations invented and added by Tim Burton belong to Tim Burton.

Always remember the Hatter

Prologue

A butler opened the big door for her and begged her to enter. She nodded shortly and entered the house of her parents. She for herself was a mother now, too. Her son was three years old and was now sleeping in her arms. She had come without her husband…like always. He never accompanied her when she was out in order to settle a matter.

She spotted a butler who was already on his way to greet her. "Welcome Misses Arlington. Your mother is already waiting for you." "Thank you Mister Edwards."

He led her to the master living room where her mother sat in silence drinking a tea. When Edwards opened the door she looked up smiling when she saw her daughter with her grandson Charles. "Margaret! It is so nice to see you both!" She raised and hugged her elder daughter and Charles who awoke. Misses Kingsley took her grandson in her arms and hugged him close ignoring his tries to free himself. When he surrendered she sat back on the couch and waited till Margaret took a seat on the couch in front of her.

"Well, why was it so urgent to come here? You know that I am giving a ball in two days and I have still enough to prepare on this occasion." "I know, I know my dear. But yesterday I received a letter from your sister!" "Alice?! Is everything okay with her? Is she still in China?" "Hush my dear." Misses Kingsley tried to calm her daughter. "Everything seems to be fine and she still resided in Shanghai while writing the letter but now she should not be there anymore. She wrote that she is going to be in London the 14th of May." "Oh my god, that is good news! But…" She thought a moment. "… the 14th of May is in two weeks! And we have a lot to prepare for her arrival. We have to invite people to welcome her home and…" Her mother interrupted her by raising her right hand.

"You are right but this is not the topic I want to discuss because I knew you would like to arrange such a festivity. I want to discuss about something different." Misses Kingsley stroke her grandson's head her eyes full of affection. "Alice was away for four and a half year. She is twenty-four by now and still unmarried. She might die as an old maid. And I am not willing to risk this. Maybe today all she thinks about is her business but soon she will notice that she cannot handle the company on her own because she is just a girl and Lord Ascot will soon wish for a male partner not an inexperienced young girl. She should lead a household, give birth to children and not travel around the world her head full of unrealistic dreams. A man would show her where she belongs. It is a pity that she has so much of her father in her."

"I understand your concerns very well but what shall we do about it?" Her mother smiled at her. "It is very easy. We spread the news of Alice arriving soon and just add the fact that she is looking for a husband after this long journey, a husband who is going to take over the business for her. When they hear of the welcome festivity you are giving they are going to attend the party only to get to know her. And I am going to make sure that she finds the right one. And soon I am going to have more sweet grandchildren like him."

She hugged Charles again but this time much tighter.


	2. Chapter 1: Gifts

Thank you for the many reviews and the constructive criticism.^^ I hope I got the right name for Margaret's husband (hell I don't even know if margaret's name is correct) because I can't remember it from the movie... ^^'

Italic letters: thoughts of Alice

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Chapter 1: Gifts

Alice was greatful to finally reach her room in her parents' house even though she could still hear many voices from the garden outside where her welcome festivity was taking place.

On Board of her ship she could not imagine anyone but her mother and her sister and Lord Ascot would be there to welcome her. But to her surprise she found only two of her mother's butler waiting for her in front of the ship. They welcomed her with nothing but a bow due to the distance required by inheritance and material goods. How she hated this world reigned by money. This overly serious world with its overly rated so called values. Values which were not up to date anymore. Values she could not take serious anymore. Maybe that was the reason she saw her future far away from English shores. Never could she accept to be a wife only to give birth to children. There would not be a time when she only lived to lead a household and a family. This was not what she saw in her future. She did not live only to please a man and his ego while living like a bird in a golden cage.

She wanted to be free, to be as free as an eagle flying over the highest mountains on earth, free as a seagull gliding on the wind over the shores she had seen during her journey into the east using the fresh wind coming from the sea and its distant shores. She loved it when the wind caressed her cheeks standing on the railing of her ship. Sometimes the wind was as soft as a lover's hand; sometimes it was as strong as an army defending its home but the most important thing was that the wind never left her side no matter if she was sailing over the Atlantic, Pacific or the Indian Ocean. It was her constant companion, well her only companion…

She only wished she could be back on her ship sailing to unknown countries or simply other countries, foreign countries, countries like… "Alice!" The thought of this special country slipped away without her remembering the name of it. Even the pictures which appeared in front of her inner eyes did not help her to remember its name. Alice sighed. "Yes, Margaret. Come in!"

Her sister entered her room and threw her hands in the air. "Alice! What are you doing here in your room? We are having a party only for you and you should be out there and welcome the guests!" Alice wished her sister would calm down. "I was downstairs and I did welcome the guests but I really lost my patience after the forty-sixth man asked me if I would like to dance." "Yes, but they are all here to meet you!" "To meet me or to marry me? Or do they simply try to annoy me?" "Alice!" Alice turned around to her window and watched the people out there drinking and talking. This was not her world. The rest of the world offered so much more.

"I know. I am sorry Margaret. But I am tired. I just came back and I thought I could rest a few days and that it would be just me and you and our mother and not every bachelor London has in store." Margaret smiled at her. "Alice, we care for you. We do not want to see you getting old without someone by your side. Would it not be boring to be alone for the rest of your life?" _Why do you not understand that the life you want me to live is the boring one?_ "Please give me a minute to take a deep breath then I will return to the party. I promise."

Alice rolled her eyes when another man kissed the back of her hand. When he was gone she handed the gift he had given her to her mother who brought it to the other gifts she had received throughout the evening. "Alice! That is awesome! You received so many gifts from all this men! See Alice how they show you how much they would like to be your husband!" Margaret was all excited about the pile of gifts and attention her sister received from all the bachelors. "I rather think they are trying to influence my decision by buying me expensive things in order to show me how much money they possess and which living standard they can offer me if I decide to marry one of them." Margaret sighed. "You truly are a pessimistic person. Think about what your life would be like with such a rich man by your side. You would be safe!" _Yes, maybe. But what of all the other things in life and love that counted? What about being happy, about sharing your thoughts, emotions and fears with someone who feels the same way you do? Someone you understand as well as yourself. Someone who let her be herself and was happy with her being herself, with her being free!_

"Ew!" Lowell came towards them carrying a small box. "Margaret? Should I throw this away? Some crazy… man gave it to me saying he had to leave although he had not had a chance to meet your sister. He gave the gift to me in order to hand it over to Alice…but I am not sure if I should really give it to her." Margaret eyed the box closely. Alice took a look, too. The box was wrapped in common paper, nothing special except the dirt it was covered in. It seemed like someone had thrown it to the ground several times. In some places the paper had already holes in it showing the condition the box was in. It did not look any better than the paper. The whole gift looked like it had been kept in a rabbit hole… _A rabbit hole…_ "Alice?"

"Yes?" "Would you like to keep it?" Margaret asked. "I…" Alice watched the small box. "I will keep it." She took it from Lowell and went over to the pile of gifts placing the small box carefully next to the large gifts not noticing the dialogue ensuing between her sister and her husband.

Lowell watched her closely whispering to his wife: "Margaret, I am not sure about this thing. This man was suspicious. I would even say he was crazy. There was something in his eyes…" "Maybe he was drunk?" "No Margaret, do not be so silly! I am able to recognize a drunken person in front of me. Well actually he looked quite normal but his clothing looked as dirty as the gift he gave me although it was formal clothing. His pale face was in high contrast to his long red hair combed into a ponytail and his light green eyes. He wore a strange top hat. To me it was obvious that he is not a good match for Alice. I suppose his social status cannot be compared to Alice's, he is at least far below her. So I decided to better tell him to leave. He bowed with this silly grin on his face and told me he would go if I would deliver this small gift to Alice. I told him I would but that he should not hope for anything. But it did not seem to matter to him.

'It is not about hope…' he said. '...but about remembering!'"

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I know that it is impossible for a ship coming from China to arrive on a particular day in this time, well even today it's nearly impossible to arrive in time with usual means of transport... (I have to know, I have to travel by Deutsche Bahn T.T)


	3. Chapter 2: Small little something

Thank you all for your reviews. Unfortunately it's a rather short chapter... ^^

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Chapter 2: A small little something

It was the day after the party and Alice was sitting in front of the pile of gifts she had received yesterday. She was stunned about the amount of gifts and the fact that all of them were directed at her personally. Never had she received that much presents. How much money would that be? Wasted money, money that could have been spent on much more important things… charity, education, poor children. Maybe she should sell them all and spend the earnings herself. Shaking her head she sighed.

Suddenly her mother entered the living room on her heels Margaret and her dear husband Lowell. Alice could not forget what she had seen on her "engagement party with Hamish Ascot" four years ago. But it was not her business. She was in no place to make it public by telling Margaret and so she would not get involved. Unfortunately it was right that her sister was naïve and it might well be that she would never be aware of her husband cheating on her since they had been married. But she would not make the same mistake. She was not blind and she would not be blinded by these gifts lying in front of her. She had not lost her muchness… _muchness…_

Her mother took a seat right next to her and Lowell took a seat on the armrest on her other side. Alice felt uncomfortable with him that near her. She was always very watchful when he was near because she feared he might try to touch her and thus compromise her sister. If Lowell only tried to touch her she would… Suddenly she felt such an inner strength that she thought she could fight anything, Lowell as well as a Jabberwocky without being afraid… _a Jabberwocky…_

"Alice!? What are you dreaming about? Open your presents! Are you not excited about opening them seeing what all that men thought worthy of you?" Her mother asked. Alice looked at the pile. She was not eager to open them, she would rather spend her time reading a good book or taking a walk in the garden. "Margaret can help me so it will not take much time." "Alice! This is not about time. It is about you finding a man!" There was anger evident in her mother's voice. "What about the right man?" "Alice!" Her mother would soon lose her temper. "There is n right man for any woman on earth. Stop dreaming! You are no little girl anymore so stop behaving like one. Be serious! These men have money and established ties with England's most important persons. You have to think about your future! Your beauty and trading fortune will not last forever. So unwrap the presents and choose someone you want to meet again!"

Margaret gave her the fist present which was wrapped in a light blue paper with orange butterflies. It was a small but long box. Alice undid the paper and opened the box and found two panel of finest silk in it. She took the card which was lying on top of them. "Mister Kerry." She read out loud but she could not remember the man behind the name. She shrugged with her shoulders and touched the silk which was most likely from China, maybe from Beijing where she had seen it not long ago but had not bought it because it was rather useless on her journeys by ship, horse or carriage. She needed resilient fabric for her clothes. "Mister Kerry… He is a very successful merchant. He could handle your business very well. And we could make some wonderful dresses for you with this silk. But, well, he still has to learn which colors suit a young woman with blond hair. What do you think, Alice?"

Alice handed the box over to Lowell throwing the card in it. "I think it would not be good if we have the same profession. We could end up fighting over trading routes and ship types." "Well then. The next one!" Margaret handed her the next present. Alice was relieved that her mother would not press the subject of Mister Kerry. But his present was just the first and there were many yet to come. With that thought she unpacked the gift which was from Mister Newcomb. It was a spray of artificial roses made of gold. Again she handed them over to Lowell who looked at them with greedy eyes. "I prefer real roses with green leaves and colorful blossoms."

"Next one!" Her mother demanded and Margaret obeyed.

It was a flat box without any paper. Alice opened it and her mother was stricken with awe. It was a silver necklace with a big diamond as a pendant. Her mother quickly took the card and read the name. "It is from Lord Dashwood's son. The family has a hereditary seat in the Upper House. Alice!" "Well… do you think they are against the inhumane conditions under which such jewels are mined?" Alice asked sarcastically.

With the hours Alice's mother's temper ceased and so did Alice's patience. She had opened over thirty gifts and she was not willing to go any further without a short break. Well, right after… "Margaret, would you please hand me the small gift which Lowell had brought from this man who was not able to give it to me in person." Margaret nodded and gave her the small box.

Alice slowly freed the box from the dirty paper it was wrapped in until it was only the box lying in her lap. She opened the box carefully and reached for its content…


	4. Chapter 3: Remembrance

Thank you so much for the reviews! And I'm sorry to make Helen the bad guy but I was in need of an antagonist... ^^'

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Chapter 3: Remembrance

She opened the box carefully and reached for its content…

The first thing she felt was the softness and tenderness of the gift. She let her fingers run through the smooth fabric. Silk. She knew it instantly but it was different from the silk this other man had given her. It was not the finest silk but it had been very well treated although she felt a few damages which had been vamped up and a few loose fibers. Finally she fully removed the cover from the box and took a look.

The salmon-colored silk was neatly folded but it was wrinkled up like it had been in use until it was laid into the box.

Alice could feel her mother and Lowell sniff at the look of the gift but Alice did not care. She knew that this gift was something special. She slowly took the silk out of the box and could finally determine what it was. It was a long scarf with salmon-colored embroideries on each end…flowers. Alice looked at it slightly confused because somehow it seemed quite familiar but she could not say where she had seen it before. Carefully she took a smell at the scarf and myriads of scents reached her nose. She could smell the fresh and damp air of the forest with its big trees and trunks covered in moss. It was accompanied by the smell of wet earth and rain. When closing her eyes Alice was there standing and enjoying in this world the scarf described through its smells. A small singing bird was flying towards her and she reached out… But suddenly the trees around her caught fire and she could distinguish another smell…the smell of fire, smoke, ashes and burnt flesh…

She opened her eyes in shock and was back in the living room in her mother's house sitting between her and her brother-in-law clasping the scarf in her hands. Lowell already wanted to take it when she vehemently shook her head. 'Hold on tightly!' A voice in her head said and so she did for the rest of the evening.

After the last gift was unpacked Alice rose to leave the scarf still in her hands. She did not even know what the rest presents had been. She had not paid that much attention anymore after that very special gift she still carried with her. She could dimly remember that she had chosen two men to meet again to satisfy her mother so that she could leave without any discussion. One had given her a ship in a bottle which looked very much like her one ship which showed at least that there might eventually be some interest in her. The other man had written a poem for her which proved that he might be just a little creative. However they only served as alibis. She did not plan to marry any man so soon, especially none of these smug idiots.

When she closed the door of her rooms she felt the tiredness overwhelming her. Without caring for her dress she slumped on her bed on looked at the ceiling. She did not even notice falling asleep.

It was dark around her so that she could not see anything but she could hear voices in the dark. "She is not the right Alice!" "Not entirely!" "You brought the wrong Alice!" "She is absolutely Alice! I knew her anywhere!" – "You have lost your muchness!" There was it again. Muchness! What was it about? It was no proper English word. - "Hold on tightly!" – "I think I have gone mad!" She felt sorry for the being who said this. She felt sorry from the bottom of her heart. "I fear so. But I have to tell you something. That is what characterizes the best!" Could that be? This had been her own voice saying what her father had told her years ago when she had been a little child. - "How come you are either too small or too big when we meet?" She could nearly feel the softness which she heard in the voice. And she suddenly knew that the words had been directed to her. – "No, you cannot use the Vorpal Sword on other things! You have to bring it to the White Queen." Somehow she could feel the desperation rising within her. Although she could not see anything she knew that she did not want to leave whoever it was even though she had no idea what he was talking about. She simply did not want to leave his side. – "I would have regretted it to not see you again now that you are yourself." Her heart began to beat really fast. – "You still believe it is just a dream, do you not?" A dream? – "That would mean that I am not real!" No, he sounded so real he had to be real. The way his voice made her shiver with anticipation. This could not simply be a dream. There was more to it, there had to be more to it. She wanted to say it, she wanted to tell him that she did not think that he was just a dream but that he was so much more to her. But she could not open her mouth. - "You do not have to leave!" _I do not want to!_ Why should she leave when there was nothing out there for her? Even though it was dark in here wherever it was she felt at ease. It felt like coming home from a long journey. This was the feeling she had missed when she had come home from China and when she had entered her mother's house. How could a simple voice provide this feeling her own family could not? "I have to leave!" It was her again but what was she saying? Of course she could stay who was telling her otherwise? It was her decision to stay where she longed to be! And she could feel it very clearly. It was here she wanted to stay, with this soft voice accompanying her through the darkest dark without fear. She was not afraid because she knew he was there at her side, always. – "You will forget me!" No! She would not! How could she forget him? Him! He, who had always believed in her abilities, in her muchness, who had encouraged her, who had supported her. He, who would have given his life in order to save hers. – "Farewell Alice!"

Alice opened her eyes. It took a few minutes till she knew where she was. She must have fallen asleep right after slumping on her bed because she still wore her dress.

Suddenly she felt the softness of the silk scarf in her hand… and then she knew it! He had been right. She had forgotten him even though she had tried not to. She had forgotten one of the most important persons in her life. But he had given her a second change by giving her the silk scarf he normally wore around his favorite hat. The silk scarf she had had to hold on tightly. And now she would hold on tightly on this second change he had given her on her Soon-to-be-engaged-party.

She stormed out of her room taking the scarf with her.

_How could I have forgotten my most dearest Hatter?_


End file.
